Rhythm and Frequency
12 Tips and Tricks to Stay in Rhythm and Maintain Optimal Frequency
For the last four days, I've been in my second home, New Orleans, Louisiana. Anyone who's been there knows that the rhythm of New Orleans is replete with soulful moments and the frequency is all about laissez le bon temps rouler.
The ideas of rhythm and frequency have been resonating with me as I've moved through the trauma that comes from losing one's sense of self in an extended level of crisis. If you've been following along, you know that since my grandmother died in 2019 and COVID in 2020, our entire family has been in the thick of it. And frankly, what I realize is I reached a place of zero rhythm and was operating at a deafening high-pitched frequency during those most challenging times.
Without rhythm and with the kind of high pitched frequency that makes your whole body flinch, especially for extended periods of time, you become unmoored. You get off balance. And, you miss a lot that's happening around you.
One thing I've learned from Michael, who is an incredible musician, is about the importance of your ears as a key sense in experiencing and navigating life.
I was in New Orleans to facilitate three workshops for the Black Women of the Insurance Industry Sisterhood Conference and of course got a chance to catch up with Michael and hear his band play. This was the third year I've participated in this conference. During the first year, I gave a keynote address on Identifying and Unleashing Our Superpowers to Connect the Insurance Industry with Our Community. For the second year, I facilitated a workshop where we imagined what the 100+ women in the conference could specifically do to fuel change in the next 12-months. We had three goals, 25 initiatives and a 5-step plan to take some incremental steps towards leveraging our collective insight, knowledge and power for good in the insurance industry. This year, I planned to give an update on the macro and micro trends in insurance tapping into cultural relevance and the progress we were making on our plans. Admittedly, all week I'd been struggling to pull the words and slides together. I just couldn't figure out how to weave it all together. I couldn't get the right rhythm and frequency.
Then, the first afternoon of the conference, I committed to being present in each moment and not allow my mind to consume each interaction. With that commitment, I had the chance to talk and connect with women who were return attendees and many who were newcomers. 60% of the people attending were first timers. And as I listened and tapped into the rhythm and frequency of the women there, it became clear - my plans for my workshop needed to change.
These women didn't need my charts and data points, they needed a space and inputs to help recalibrate their rhythm and frequency. This conference happens every February. And the in-between of each conference unearths new business and organizational challenges, depletion of reserves of confidence, life changes, crises at work and home.
What these women needed was to be in a space where: (1) they could just be and not have to negotiate their blackness at every turn and (2) recharge.
And so I pivoted and that's what I gave them. I instead offered twelve (12) tricks and tips that they could use to navigate the next year and come back in 2025 with a little bit more still in the tank. We'll get back to disrupting the insurance industry for good next year!
My twelve tips and tricks with a little bit of explanation are here:
Accept and strengthen your chameleonic muscles. As black women in corporate environments, we often have to be chameleons who adapt to one culture and environment at work and a different culture and environment in the rest of our lives. It’s important that we accept this and not resist to be able to use leverage the skill to fuel our progress. It’s a powerful skill to have. Let’s use it for progress.
Build your brain. You always have to acquire new information, insights, perspectives, data to be prepared for that naysayer that challenges the very foundation of why black women even need their own conference because “shouldn’t we all not see color.” Yeah, it’d be nice if we didn’t. But we do.
Find a sponsor, not just a mentor. A sponsor is someone who has more power than you (perceived or actual) and speaks up for you when you’re not in the room.
Build your personal board of directors and sister circle. You need a personal set of people who are not part of your everyday working life that are your board of directors that you call when you need perspective, insight or talked off of a ledge. And you need folks that are different than you on your board. But also, still have your sister circle who can sympathize with your lived experience. You are the average of the 5 people you associate with the most - so don’t bring on people that’s going to mess up your average.
Take advantage of moments of formation when one doesn’t have to negotiate being black or female in every moment. Conferences like the Black Women of the Insurance Industry Sisterhood Conference provide moments where you can lay down one layer of burden and unleash your true authentic self.
Don’t be stingy and share with others about your lessons, successes, failures, and opportunities. Tell somebody and help them along the way. Don’t be petty.
Keep it all in perspective. We ain’t over here curing cancer working in insurance. So, don’t let your role or job take over your life so much that you lose your self, your relationships, your health, any of that.
You can’t keep making withdrawals without making some deposits. Just like Chase bank won’t let you take out more than you put in, you need to make sure you’re getting deposits.
There is power in time - always remember the power in the pause. Just pausing and letting time give you more information, new perspectives often leads you to feeling stronger about the step you’re making.
Understand how your company makes money. Listen to the earnings call. Understand how sales and distribution work. Connect the dots to the value you bring and the bottom line for the company.
Always be prepared to show the ROI (return on investment) - unfortunately, there is a double standard at times and we as black women have to justify more than others - that’s ok - be prepared with your “receipts” and then just drop the mic.
Ask for shit. The squeaky wheel gets the oil. Don’t be afraid to ask for what you need and want. The worst someone can say is no, which really means one of two things: (1) you’re talking to the wrong person; or (2) just not yet.
In classic New Orleans fashion, we put all of our rhythm and frequency on display in the streets of New Orleans with a good ole second line!
Laissez Le Bon Temps Rouler!
All 12 steps resonated with me!!! Would love to get these 12 steps to ALL of the conference attendees!