Lately, the theme of contrasts has been on my mind and evident all around me.
As we embark on this journey seeking clarity and inspiration, I’m finding so many learnings in the in-between of the contrasts. Last week, we were in Miami and Key West at the southernmost part of the United States, with lung-crushing heat and humidity, and half-naked people (because it’s so dang hot) and this week, we’re on the coast of Oregon, one of the northernmost of the U.S., where I woke up to 41 degrees, and while people are definitely out on the beach, they are covered from head to toe. So, what have I learned from this contrast:
While the environmental conditions might change, there are still many constants. Waves crashing into the beach, birds searching the water for their next meal, people longing to be near the water and finding solace in the meditative sounds of the ocean and the frolicking nature of humans and four-legged creatures alike that the beach evokes. That the sun rises and sets each day.
The friction, the energy (whether positive or negative) that is generated and exist in between the contrasts can be enlivening or crushing all depending on your perspective.
What do I mean? My life the last has 3 years has felt increasingly in contrast with the prior 3 years. From 2016-2019, I faced the typical challenges of life - changes in my career from Morehouse to Aflac, sending my oldest daughter off to college, losing my grandmother who died at 87 after a glorious life.
But based on how 2020-2023 has been - babyyyy - I would take the highs and lows of 2016-2019 over again any day.
The highs and lows of this season have pushed me to my very brink - seeing success for my children then watching them face truly hard moments that unearthed mental health challenges for them and me, more changes in my career that have at times given me euphoria and the sense of having “made it,” to pushing me to the brink of financial implosion (more than once), seeing new life and legacy come into this world and then facing the fear that it could all be gone in an instant as the latest generation of Cade’s have overcome tremendous health obstacles.
When I consider how I get through, it’s through my faith and perspective. Now, ya’ll need to know that my perspective ain’t always clear. Just this morning, as I am here on the beautiful Oregon coast after a few days of wonder and glory and even some wins for What-If, I woke up in the middle of the night distressed and dismayed about what is going to happen next. Yesterday, evening I began to feel anxiety symptoms, which typically manifest for me with itching and physical ailments. This is all happening as I sit here in this beautiful place where the wonder of God’s creations is evident, palpable and just a stone’s throw from where I am. As I woke up, I sat up petitioning God when will this season end, that I need not just a break - but a breakthrough. I need the frequency to change. I need a shift, not just a temporary reprieve.
Well, for those that may not know, God talks to me through my YouTube feed. Yes, literally. One time, I was on YouTube going down the YouTube hole watching silly stuff like Kardashian videos about what Kim had been wearing. But, I was in a really low place and I promise you a video that should not have been a part of the algorithm popped up to tell me the story about overcoming. Another time, I went on YouTube looking for one sermon by my favorite YouTube pastor, Howard John Wesley, out of Washington, D.C. And I found the sermon was looking for, pressed play, but about 10 minutes into it I realized this was a different sermon that was giving me exactly what I needed to hear. Whether you believe it or not, is not relevant, but know that I’ve learned to trust it. So, this morning, I was reminded to go to my YouTube channel. And, surely I went there and there was a sermon from Howard John Wesley on “What’s Wrong With You?” It reminded me that God always shows up in ways I can’t even imagine, even with my big brain. That one of my superpowers is that I am chameleon than can adapt and endure through. And, that the victory is just on the other side.
Link to the sermon if you want to watch it.
Howard John Wesley - "Pastoral Picks: What's Wrong With You"About a month ago now, we said goodbye to our home at 4616 Chattahoochee Crossing. Another chapter in the fabulous Casa de Cade journey. This one was actually more of a chateau. This home was a special one and yet full of contrasts. First, it certainly gave the sense of safety. This was a neighborhood where the neighbors are aware, but not super nosy. And we were surrounded by great friends on both sides of us. In fact, we barely ever locked our door (shhhh, dont tell anyone). And yet, in contrast, one day a crazy stalker followed my daughter’s best friend and her sister into the neighborhood and banged on my neighbors door and tried to attack them. Check out the news story.
Second, it was very spacious, gorgeous views of a creek, amazing deck and patio spaces, and yet it was a little stuck in the 80's and I never had the capacity to make the renovations that I desperately craved. There came a point, when I couldn't stand to go in the kitchen. And for me, a closeted Food Network star, that was crushing my spirit. We also had critters - raccoons, snakes, squirrels - I mean this beautiful French chateau was in a forest.
It's in the best school district in the state zoned for the best high school, Walton High School. People move here to take advantage of the schools. And yet, in contrast, we never experienced the glory of Walton for Cadelyn. In fact, Walton High School contributed to a really rocky time for Cadelyn. On top of the regular high school stuff, getting exposed to “sex, drugs and rock and roll,” the academic pressure routinely makes these kids crack at Walton. In fact, none of the families we knew experienced the perceived advantages of Walton. After one year, I moved Cadelyn to a private school. And, now she's in online school. I tell people there is no magic happening in Cobb County that makes the schools so great. It’s just that there’s a lot of money in that area, and all the kids have tutors!
So, consider the contrasts and what’s happening in the in-betweens. Manage that energy. Keep perspective and most importantly find a source of strength and keep moving. And I just have to say cheers to 4616! You were definitely one of my favorites.
Please consider sharing this with others that may be inspired.